


EXO Club

by godcheekbones



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, OT12 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:26:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godcheekbones/pseuds/godcheekbones
Summary: The EXO Club is going to be disbanded. They need to present their case to the student council to keep them from being cut. Only problem is, they don't have one. ("Our agenda is to save the environment," Jongin argued, "I think what Kyungsoo was getting at is 'XOXO' is 'love', so we're environmental love, or E-XO for short. Get it?") OT12 Crack fic.





	

This is a story of how EXO Club nearly got disbanded.  
  
Every story has a catalyst, and this story started with a door being slammed open and a happy-go-lucky person jaunting into a classroom on the second floor with his hands jammed in his pockets. He looked around the classroom for signs of living things, and then bounced cheerfully to the person sitting by the window. The boy frowned at the shadow cast on his book, and looked up.  
  
“Hello,” Yixing exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the table and going too close into the boy’s face. He read the nametag. “Hello Tao! We’re going to have to close this club down.”  
  
There was a pause. A bird took a shit outside the window.  
  
Tao had on red Beatbox headphones, evidently not hearing a word. He stared at Yixing incredulously. Then, he stabbed the end of his mechanical pencil to the opposite end of the classroom where a few other boys were playing cards.  
  
“Oh, okay.” Yixing walked over, undaunted.  
  
There were faint noises coming from behind the closet door at the back of the class, but nobody seemed to be paying too much attention to it.  
  
“Student council vice-president!” recognized one boy immediately, throwing his cards in the middle of the table and standing up in greeting. He was holding a pen in hand, and a math workbook fell to the floor, presumably on his lap just a minute ago.  
  
“Jongdae, what were you doing?” the boy next to him exclaimed, disappearing underneath the table to retrieve the book. “What did we just say about loosening up? I’m so disappointed in you!” This boy wasn’t wearing a name tag, but everybody knew him.  
  
Baekhyun was one-half of the famous Troublemaker duo in the high school (Chanyeol was his other half, but he got himself suspended for that week after taking the blame for their latest venture. Baekhyun and Chanyeol had attended school on Valentine’s Day masquerading as girls. Frankly, it was disturbing how much candy the two of them got before they got caught.) He played his role as a 'bad boy' well; with his collar unbuttoned, his blazer thrown on the back of his chair and his tie missing altogether. He had on eyeliner, which was banned really, as was the cards they were playing with.  
  
“Hello,” greeted the last boy cordially. He was closest to Yixing, turning around in his seat to look up at him. “I’m Suho. What do you want?”  
  
“Suho!” beamed Yixing, deftly swiping the cards on the table and Suho’s cards in one sweep with his left hand. Baekhyun rolled his eyes and threw in his cards too, and those quickly disappeared. “Are you the president of the EXO Club?”  
  
A smile spread automatically. A tall, tanned boy walked into the back of the classroom just then. “Woah,” Jongin said wryly, sliding into Jongdae’s unoccupied seat. “Are you two trying to out-smile each other or something?”  
  
“Oh, I’m just here to tell you that we’re going to have to close down the EXO Club.”  
  
And so the catalyst jump-started the reaction.  
  
  
  
  
The plan was pretty simple. So Jongin thought it was unnecessary for Jongdae to be so dramatic. He was clutching at the door of the classroom for dear life, while Suho tugged on the back of his white school uniform shirt viciously to pull him out.  
  
“I’m so dead,” Jongdae wailed, his worn sneakers making squeaky sounds against the dirty floor as he scrambled to remain in the classroom. “I’m going to be expelled, right after they find my corpse. And I’m going to die first because Jongin is all tall, dark and handsome; and Suho is our president who has finally lost his marbles- OW!”  
  
Suho whacked him on the head with his own math workbook. “Nobody is going to die,” he announced firmly.  
  
“HAVE YOU SEEN THE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT’S FACE _IT’S VERY SCARY_.”  
  
“We have our secret weapon.”  
  
The secret weapon raised his head, adjusting the black prefect tie at his collar. He sat at the edge of the table nearest to Jongdae. He looked on, amused at the situation.  
  
“WE'RE KIDNAPPING THE STUDENT COUNCIL VICE-PRESIDENT,” moaned Jongdae, his knuckles slowly turning white. "I DID NOT JOIN THE CLUB FOR THIS."  
  
“You kidnapped me,” agreed Yixing amiably, putting his hands on the table by his sides and leaning back. “Oh dear. Oh my.”  
  
“Would you shut up?” scowled Tao, from the opposite end of the classroom by the windows. He put his hands on his headphones and pulled them away from his ears temporarily to talk in normal tones.  
  
“Geroffme,” Jongdae commanded, this time in hushed tones.  
  
“Why isn’t Tao sharing our joy of ransoming the student council vice-president to the student council president?” Baekhyun asked, putting his hands on his hips. He was standing next to Suho, tapping his foot. Jongin thought he was the most normal person of the group apart from him; which was sad because Baekhyun was only in the club for the past week as punishment by the school - 'community service'.  
  
“Oh, Tao’s not in the club,” Suho said conversationally. With a ferocious pull, he managed to force Jongdae away from the door. The two of them stumbled back because of the resultant force, and Jongdae nearly fell on top of Suho. “He uses the classroom to study Korean language after school.”  
  
“Suho hasn’t kicked him out yet because Tao knows martial arts,” added Jongin.  
  
“No, it’s because sharing is caring,” Suho said, this time whacking Jongin’s head. “Alright, we’ve got Jongdae! Let’s go!” The said leader dragged Jongdae across the corridor, keeping a firm grasp on the boy’s sleeve, leaving behind the real hostage. Baekhyun walked behind, keeping a respectable distance between him and the two in front to keep from being associated.  
  
“You can probably go,” Jongin mused, falling in step with Baekhyun. “Since the club is disbanded. Um, ten minutes ago.”  
  
“Nah, I’ve grown attached to you guys. Besides, the school has a pep rally this afternoon by the vice-principal, remember? This community service thing is my excuse to skip.”  
  
“Hey guys,” called the supposedly reluctant hostage, sticking his head out of the classroom door. “I think I found another two of your club members?”  
  
Suho and Jongdae had disappeared already, so the duty fell on Jongin to turn around and reply. Surprise was written all over his face, when Yixing grasped his classmate Sehun and the handsome senior Luhan by the shoulders. Luhan looked smug while Sehun looked downright embarrassed. He was straightening his untucked shirt, his face pink.  
  
Jongin stared for a moment, before shaking his head out of his thoughts. “No--” he started, but Yixing cut in, “But they have to be members of the EXO Club! Because otherwise they’re skipping out on the pep rally to make out in the cleaning supply closet, which is _not_ allowed, and a week of detention is in order.” Yixing blinked innocently at them. Sehun looked pleadingly at Jongin while running his fingers through his tousled hair in an attempt to flatten it.  
  
“Yeah, fine,” Jongin said grudgingly, “Suho will be happy about having new members anyway. In our club. Which got disbanded. Eleven minutes ago.”  
  
Yixing beamed at him.  
  
  
  
  
Luhan slung his arms around Sehun’s shoulders. “Where are we going?” he asked curiously. “And what does this club do?”  
  
They approached the other end of the floor in the building. The door to the student council room was already opened.  
  
“Free air-conditioning,” beamed Luhan, “let’s all squeeze in.”  
  
“You can’t just disband the EXO Club with no prior notice,” Suho was saying reasonably, standing in front of the communal table that took up most of the special classroom.  
  
“This _is_ our prior notice,” said the student council president seriously, from the head of the table. He propped his elbows on top of the table, mashing the tips of his fingers together. “The school is low on funding, so we’re cutting the unnecessary clubs that do not contribute to the welfare of the students in this school.”  
  
“We do contribute!” Suho shot back. It was said so convincingly, with the right amount of outrage and hurt.  
  
“Yes,” nodded along Luhan, doing his job as a member of the club exceedingly well for someone who was blackmailed into joining. While Suho pretended not to be surprised at the two extra members and Jongin pretended not to be surprised that the club was doing anything other than homework and playing cards and the occasional trips to the bowling alley and arcade every Friday for the past year, Luhan waved at the president. “Hi Kris!”  
  
Kris looked bemusedly at his classmate. “You joined the EXO Club? I thought you dropped out of the student council in your senior year to do something more productive, like studying.”  
  
“We’re finding ways to contribute to the welfare of the students of the school on minimum funding,” Luhan replied carefully, glancing sideways at the nearest legitimate member.  
  
Jongdae ignored him, still struggling to be released from Suho’s iron grip.  
  
Kris sighed. “Well, your objectives are vague,” he supplied, trying to play the part as representative of the student voices as well as he could. “Yixing, where are the club records?”  
  
“In the drawer,” Yixing said peacefully, standing at the back of the entourage. Kris lifted a finger in thanks, and opened a drawer next to him and pulled out a sheaf of paper. He frowned.  
  
“You filled the ‘club name’ with ‘XOXO’,” Kris read, deadpanned. “And your ‘club activity summary’ is ‘looking after the environment’. As of last year, you had two registered members. However, you’ve recorded about three hundred hours or so in the computer room these past two years.”  
  
  
  
  
Sehun looked like he got punched in the gut. Baekhyun burst out laughing. “I can’t believe this is my community service assignment.”  
  
Jongdae cleared his throat, breaking the otherwise stunned silence first.  
  
“And you are?” Kris asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Um, Jongdae? Second year.”  
  
“Do you have anything to say in the defence of the club?”  
  
“Yes.” Jongdae glanced at Suho, who sighed in resignation and nodded. “Kyungsoo filled up that form.”  
  
  
  
  
The chorus of relieved noises sounded at once. “No wonder,” Sehun mused.  
  
“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that,” Suho said sincerely to Kris.  
  
“Hey,” Jongin frowned, “Kyungsoo isn’t so bad. He’s our vice-president you know.”  
  
“Your boyfriend,” rephrased Baekhyun accurately, the only one seated comfortably in one of the chairs at the table apart from Kris, “has weird taste in names. Remember last year he won the school draw and named the school mascot _‘MAMA’_?”  
  
“Kyungsoo?” Yixing piped up. “He’s my classmate! He calls himself D.O. now.”  
  
Baekhyun threw his hands in the air. “Point made.”  
  
Jongin felt like he had to defend his friend somehow. “Our agenda is to save the environment,” he argued, “I think what Kyungsoo was getting at is ‘XOXO’ is ‘love’, so we’re environmental love, or E-XO for short. Get it?”  
  
“We haven’t updated the membership list,” Suho jumped in, glancing at Luhan and Sehun again.  
  
“And I think it is Xiu Min who is using our club name for access to the computer room,” added Jongdae. “He likes to study there because of the air-conditioning.”  
  
Kris sighed again. “Okay, fine. Even if I accept all that, the school rules state that an official club needs a minimum of five official members. And what have you done recently to prove you’ve helped the environment?”  
  
  
  
  
“President,” nudged Jongin.  
  
“Yeah, you’re going to have to save this one,” Jongdae apologised.  
  
“Come, I’ll update the membership list,” said Yixing, slipping into the room finally and sitting next to Baekhyun. Kris slid the list across the table. “So, Suho is the president and Kyungsoo is the vice-president. Who made this club by the way?”  
  
“It was that mysterious senior,” Jongin answered, as Suho stood by the side and racked his memory. “Some guy called S.M.”  
  
“I remember him,” Yixing exclaimed happily. “He was the top scorer for the leaving examinations last year, right? I assume that’s why Jongdae joined the club, to pick his brains.”  
  
Jongdae finally wriggled his way out of Suho’s grasp at that moment. He looked stunned for a second. Baekhyun took pity on him and pulled him down in the seat next to him. Kris sighed, and looked out for the welfare of the students by gestured to the remaining seats. Pretty soon all of them were spread lazily around the table.  
  
“This is cool,” Luhan remarked, “We’re all skipping the pep rally by chilling in the student council room and fighting for the rights of our new club. Right Sehun?”  
  
“Oh yes,” Yixing noted, “Luhan and Sehun are new members thanks to yours truly. Baekhyun is also here by force, as community service instead of getting detention. Although truthfully Baek, I heard that the teachers were trying to put you closer to Jongdae so that you would start doing homework instead of dressing up as a girl just to get candy.”  
  
Before Jongdae could pull a hurt expression, Baekhyun kicked Yixing under the table. “I might stay,” he agreed idly. “I like Jongdae. He’s so cute – look at those cheekbones! What I could do to him… I think he’s going to be mine and Chanyeol’s new protégé.”  
  
Jongdae squeaked. “I didn’t hear anything,” sighed Kris.  
  
“Okay,” continued the vice-president, “and Jongin is here to get closer to his boyfriend.”  
  
“You hooked up with Kyungsoo already?” Sehun asked curiously before he could stop himself.  
  
“No!”  
  
“That’s disappointing,” Yixing reproved. “It’s been nearly a year already. Is that all? Oh, I nearly forgot about Xiu Min, who is just using the club for free air-conditioning.”  
  
“Question,” interrupted Kris, “did anybody join this club _to help the environment_?”  
  
“What kind of dumb question is that?” Baekhyun asked incredulously. “The real question is; should we add Tao? He’s been shamelessly calling me ‘oppa’ all this while even after I turned back to a boy; I think we should add him officially to the club so he can actually talk to us for a change and finally improve his Korean. He’s been using all the club's classroom resources anyway.”  
  
“He’s been calling you ‘oppa’?” Jongin asked, his mouth hanging open.  
  
“Tao,” intoned Yixing, scribbling the name down. “There! Nine official members sound pretty good!”  
  
“Ten,” Baekhyun added, “I’ll ask Chanyeol to join.”  
  
“I find that the new members are contributing a lot more to this club than the old timers,” called Yixing, his head bent down over the paper.  
  
“I’m not talking to you,” Jongin said irritably.  
  
“Just because you’re not getting any.”  
  
“Getting ‘any’ landed you in this club Sehun!”  
  
“Don’t fight,” Suho announced, turning to them. “I just remembered. Kyungsoo planted a tree in the school courtyard a few weeks ago during term break remember? He got his family to donate it or something, and got the chance to name it.”  
  
“You mean the tree outside our classroom?” Jongin asked, looking at his leader. “He did that to block out the sun to be honest.”  
  
“The one that people are complaining birds shit on too much?” added Kris. He stretched his arms behind his chair. “Well. Planting a tree can be counted as community service. I think. I just need evidence you did it. Was it authorised by a teacher?”  
  
“The principal let him name it ‘Tree of Life’,” Suho said solemnly. “There’s a small card at the base of the tree. I can take a picture of that if you want.”  
  
“… Okay. Fine.”  
  
  
  
  
And the problem was solved. EXO Club saved itself from disbandment by gaining eight members in less than twenty minutes. They became something of a unit, and occasionally barged into the student council room for no other reason than free air-conditioning.  
  
(This was because Xiu Min apparently graduated the year before already. Nobody knew that, of course, given they had never seen their phantom member. In fact, he became some sort of legend among them. All they knew was that their free hours in the computer room had been used up for the next two years or so.)  
  
And Kyungsoo and Jongin finally became a pair, after Chanyeol and Baekhyun collaborated to shove and lock them in the cleaning supplies closet.  
  
  
There were repercussions, of course.  
  
  
“Hey, where’s Baekhyun?” Jongdae asked, his hair styled with gel and his skin suspiciously smooth.  
  
“He got suspended,” Chanyeol answered cheerfully, throwing a card in the middle of the table. “Hey, looking good!”  
  
“Thanks, I used the skin cream Kris recommended last week. What did Baekhyun do?”  
  
“He took the blame this time.”  
  
“He locked us in!” shouted Jongin, from the corner of the room near the shade from the Tree. “AND THE DOOR GOT STUCK WE WERE IN THERE FOR HOURS.”  
  
“The best few hours of your life probably.”  
  
“THIS IS THE LAST FEW HOURS OF YOUR LIFE SEHUN.”  
  
“OI NOBODY TACKLES SEHUN TO THE FLOOR LIKE THAT EXCEPT ME WHEN WE’RE ABOUT TO--”  
  
“SHUT UP LUHAN THAT’S _PRIVATE BETWEEN US_.”  
  
  
  
And the story ends like this. THE END.  
  
  
  
Well, not really.  
  
  
  
The story actually ends like this; “JONGIN I’VE PICKED OUT THE NAMES FOR OUR KIDS--”  
  
“ _NO._ ”  
  
  
  
 **THE REAL THE END.**


End file.
